Train The Mind To Respond, Not React: Part 3: BK Shivani at Vancouver, Canada (English) – My thoughts on it

These are my thoughts and opinions on BK Shivani video. I’m going to quote “… “ what she said on Big bold letters and then I’m going to give my opinion base of what I understood. Also, I going to to put in big bold letters without the quote things I found interesting that she did.

I highlighted the major points that I got from it, but If you wish to see the video the link is below or you can continue reading the blog post.

“We are programmed with a very deep belief system. How you behave is how I will respond”

What I’ am understanding is that we have been condition to automatically react to other’s people behavior.

But this is a bad habit to have because if someone behave in a way that you don’t like, you’ll automatically react in a negative way.

The right habit is not to react to that person behavior since you cannot control what other people’s do and you don’t know why that person is behaving that way.

When people do something that you don’t like, It is your choice to be a victim or not.

By choosing to not be a victim, you have power. You have the power to act in the right way, to respond in a positive way.

“How I respond to the simpler scenes of life is what is going to create a sanskar”

Since you are not reacting to small situation then when something big actually happen, then automatically, you will respond in the right way. Since you created a habit of doing so when you were repeatedly responding to the small situations.

Hence,

Reacting is not a good thing.

Responding is a good thing.

Use one hand and place the situation of your life there regardless of how big or small it is. Now use the other hand and place you your state of mind there in respond to that situation

What at wonderful example she gave. This is what I got from it.

Example

By putting the problem or the situation in one of your hand

and

On the other hand put your state of mind, so you choose the right way of how your mind is suppose to respond

By using the two hands.

It allows you to look at the problem on one side of the hand and on the other side of the hand it allow you to look at the difference responses that you can give, that way you can choose the best response for that situation instead of reacting.

The response you choose, will allow you to have more of what we really wants, we want health, harmony, peace, love and all that positive and pleasant good stuff.

The point of using the two hand example is so that you can see that the problem or situation is detached from you, that way you can have an easier way choosing to response the positive right way.

Since once again you cannot control what other people do. You can only control what you do.

“Meditation means I become my best friend”

Continuing with the example of the two hands.

Meditation allow us to think and since we are actually thinking we ought to be able to choose the best decision.

Example

When something bad happens to us and we feel bad about it. We can take 30 seconds to think about it. Our best friend AKA your thinking mind. By putting the problem in one hand and the solution on the other.

We can come to the conclusion that the problem is detached from us so there is no reason to feel bad about it. It takes like 30 seconds to shift your mind from you feeling things like disrespect, hurt, insult to understanding.

Understanding that you will never control what other people do , they have their own reason to behave the way they do.

So getting negative about it don’t help you in anyway.

It is better if you can be empathetic toward them, and don’t let it affect you.

We don’t need validation from other people, you just need validation from yourself.

An individual is irritating vs when that individual behave that way I create irritation

Another great example she gave. And this is what I got.

We should be careful when putting labels on other people since we are giving up the options of using another response.

Example

If you say that someone is irritating then when you meet that person again, probably you mind will automatically put you into an irritating state.

On the other hand,

If you take the time to think, and notice that when that individual behave that way you feel irritated, then you are the one that is creating the irritation.

This mean that you are the one creating the irritation not the individual.

You are giving your power away. No one but you is suppose to have power over you.

By noticing that you are the one creating the irritation, you can change your state of mind and not let it irritates you since we rather have peace.

Peace do not come from external sources like from another individual.

Peace do come from inside of you. Peace come when you make a habit of responding the right way instead of reacting to events.

The low frequency word you use deplete spiritual power

Whether you are a spiritual person or not, next thing might be useful to you.

She explained that they are some people that use the word busy, very busy, very very busy and so on. Meaning that they are too busy to do something.

There are some other people that are doing nothing at home and they use the word busy too.

So this have nothing to do with being busy or not.

You can work for long hours and it can not feel busy at all too. It can actually feel easy and fun.

The words that you are choosing to use, can and will program you to behave in a certain way.

So, choose wisely the words that comes out of your mouth. The words that you use, can affect how you feel.

Negative words are low frequency words.

Positive words are high frequency words.

Final thoughts

Instead of reacting to people is better to take some seconds to think and detached yourself from the problem that way you can respond the right way.

Do this enough with small things so you can create a positive habit. Eventually when something big happen then you automatically will respond the right way too because that’s your default setting.

Also, use positive words instead of negative since words can affect your state of mind.

To make it even more clear, if someone where to do you wrong, you would be able to handle the situation better, since your default state is empathy, peace and pleasantness.